Free-Ass. Press Podcast

Oprah Gains Weight Eating Her Own Ratings

Oprah Winfrey, the daytime queen of talk and weight loss minus the weight loss, has gained the weight back again.

TV Goes Digital; Playboy Channel Still Fuzzy

14-year-old boys all over America are outraged that the Playboy channel still comes in fuzzy.

Optimists File For Chapter 11 Bankruptcy

Optimist International, commonly known as the Optimists, has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection.

State-of-the-Art Presidential Limo Boasts a Top Speed of 3

GM unveiled its largest, heaviest, most-polluting, least fuel-efficient vehicle ever to hit American roadways.

Condi Rice Publishes Memoir:

Former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice has announced the publication of her new tell-all memoir, "I'm Black Too, Ya Know!"

Afghanistan Cancels "Take Your Child To Work" Day

"Take Your Child To Work Day" has been canceled in Afghanistan due to weather.
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Obama Cancels Black History Month

In yet another sign of the continuing economic crisis, President Barack Obama has canceled Black History Month for lack of funds.
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VP Biden's Schedule Packed With Meaningless Busy Work

VP Biden's schedule is so packed with meaningless busywork that he is having trouble keeping up.
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Jimmy John’s Now Charging For Free Smells

In another sign of the deepening economic recession Jimmy John's, the beloved sub sandwich shop that used to offer "Free Smells," will start charging $1 for them effective immediately.
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Astronauts Hardest Hit By High Gas Prices

With fuel prices in the U.S. now averaging four dollars per gallon, no one has been harder hit than NASA astronauts. To lessen that impact, NASA has announced that it will now allow its non-essential astronauts to telecommute.
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